We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Randomize
