East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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