Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
