....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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