I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
