last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
