Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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