I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
