She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
