You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
