2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
