Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he puts the penis in happiness.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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