FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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