these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
