YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
