My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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