Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
