Kiss
Puke
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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