I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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