My brain says no but my pants say off.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
