Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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