I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
