I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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