Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
