That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
