the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just forgot I was standing up.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
