Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
