you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
