At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Is Oprah even human
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
