Your tits are I can't wait for
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
