3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
