You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
