why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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