Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
