She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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