Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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