You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
