Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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