Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
