yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
