yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
