dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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