My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
