all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
