STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Everything about him screamed your future.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
