Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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