are you still at the devil's house?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
