So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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