tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i need some magic done to my vagina
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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