i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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