he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
