She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
